Not to say that I wasnt happy with the iPad, but even Rakhi Sawant would realize that its not technically the most optimal product! In this size (and coming from Apple), one could have expected -
a full-size keyboard, USB ports, Flash support, in-built drive, mouse support, webcam etc etc
Am so glad the iPad Pro has been launched!
1. The first thing you say when you call other people is not “How are you”, but “Where are you”
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5.Your reason for not staying in touch with friends or remembering their birthdays is that they are not on Facebook.
6. You park your car at home and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. If anyone wanted to know how you looked 12 hours ago, a year ago, 3 years ago, 10 years ago, 25 years ago, they just need to view your facebook profile
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12 You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list
Credit: Thanks Kapil for sharing. The content has been ‘Indianized’ a bit!
F*** Business School – yah thats pretty much what I would say to most people who want to do an MBA! :)
Cap Courtesy: Shantanu (Tuck Business School Alumnus)
I am a consultant, and honestly, the word slideshow (as expected) is quite sacrosanct in the profession.
It not only defines our very existence, it is also proven to the perfect hypnotic pendulum swung infront of clients with the chant “your business is doomed…we can save it if you give us all your revenue”
but evidently, a lot of people like slideshows for some very different reasons!
I found one of the best reasons today!
Slideshow: The Women Linked To Tiger Woods (NSFW)
Only Fox could have come up with such a masterpiece
And for nationalists, the Fox counterpart is Indiatimes. YOU HAVE GOT TO CHECK this out!
Immense WTFness lives in this world!
—
Comment of the day:
My opinion of Tiger has sunk so low… The man has lousy taste in women.
Or why automated responses to most queries fall flat! Take your pick! 
“You can’t produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant. It just doesn’t work that way.”
Read some other gems from the Investing Master
Write a book, even if it sucks. Because when the world ends, you may be lucky enough to have a copy of it saved by one of the survivors and be forever immortalized
So I watched the movie…and honestly…quite liked it! Cmon…what were you guys expecting? Oscar Movie of the Year! it was meant to be this crappy…but with great visual appeal. And it delivered on it…!
However, as is with every movie, no matter how crappy…there are always learnings (and hidden philosophies!).
Here is my book on…
20 Things You Learn from 2012 – The Movie
Please add your own!!
Hemant Mehta wonderfully creates a flowchart to determine which Religion should one follow! While I wish there didnt exist a need for religion to exist alltogether, the flowchart is nonetheless quite a nice attempt.
Where do you lie?
WHO are these girls…why…why…why would they do this to themselves…AND to the world around them! I wanna meet these chicks man…
actually…nevermind!
Brilliance of the article is captured in this one statement
“Swayamvar Season 2 while following a similar format as its predecessor will have a complete unique spin. 16 men were wooing Rakhi, now will 16 ladies woo Rahul or will Rahul woo 16 ladies?“
This is indeed historic…and needless to say…had to happen…the IIMs were never a match for the full-page ads…(and OMG…a FREE trip out of India…AND a FREE Laptop…just too much to handle!)
This is one of the funniest unedited news reporting I have seen….can we please have similar ones from AajTak…!
back when I used to fly to Dubai for work…Emirates Airlines was like second home. Its not funny the number the movies I have watched…and the amount of fun me and my team mates have had on those flights.
I was remembering one such instance this morning…and realized that I had blogged about it previously. Am reposting the same…makes for some fun read!
___________
so this is a real life incident. happened to me last Thursday on my flight back to India…
every Indian on this planet..and every traveler to India as well…can relate to one sight. queues. friggin queues. everywhere..! we Indians are so used to just placing ourselves comfortably in a line…and just live the rest of our lives trying to reach the ‘counter’.
so it was one of those queues again…that got me introduced to her. i was boarding the flight…with my boarding pass in hand…(and mind u…even if u have bloody boarded a plane more times than u have pissed in your life…the hostess will definitely ask u for your boarding pass and direct you to your seat…as if you are the biggest moron who couldn’t have figured by himself..! anyways…)
so there is this huge line leading to the miserly economy class…(reminds me of a seinfeld joke…he was talking abt the way the hostesses draw the curtain between the economy and business class…saying with their eyes…”if only you had worked harder”)…and its dragging along…till the time i reach right at the entrance. and its been some 2 minutes at the same….the line is jst not moving.
“oohh…discovery channel..thats my fav”..!
a rather stunning airhostess…(who btw i had conveniently avoided mentioning so far…)…standing at the right side…! her repsonse is to the discovery logo on my tee…which R had given sometime back (quite cool stuff these discovery guys make..!).
“aaaah…thts nice..! infact..‘we at discovery’ have a hidden vision. that everyone in this world feel exacly what you feel”
there was some artificial hehe-huhu…before the line finally moved on..!!
now..if u hvnt figured by now…i said “we at dicovery”..which in the english language means that i lied. about the fact that i work at discovery. now dont get me wrong here…i am quite proud to be a consultant…i think they r the best invention by mankind..after the safety pin ofcourse…! but something within me…made me lie..
so i seat myself…and put the “do not disturb…even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on” tag on my seat…and as i am about to close my eyes…she comes in again…
“hot towels please”
sleep’s gone..! am with discovery again…
“so what do you do for discovery”…she asks…while holding the towel for the passenger to me left (i was aisle)…and given who was sitting on that seat…i am sure he felt it was some sort of hypnotic towel..meant to soothen the body during the flight…cause he just didnt move his eyes off it.
“ummm…i work as a photographer for them” (WTFF…cold blooded lie..aspirational though..mind you!)
“wow…thats awesome…! here in dubai?”
“nope..in their delhi office. had come to dubai to cover the desert safari for a brochure we are working on..” (I could have very well said I was here to cover the Burj Al Arab…but no..stupid moron…if only my thought process was as fast when needed)
“thats quite interesting. please let me know if you need anything. i promise not to disturb you though…even if the friggin plane is going down and i dont have my for gods sake seat belt on”
yes yes yes…she reads my mind…i can so totally see it…!! wuuuhuuuuuuu
so…rest of the flight was quite good…slept a decent bit..and each time i woke up..i saw her fanning me with a magazine…smiling sweetly at me as if so totally admiring me..! ok…i am lying
…i didnt see her at all till the flight landed…
at the entrance…she was there…with her…”thnks…bye bye now”…and i went…wtf man…let it go…
“ummm…btw i was lying…! i dont work for discovery. my fiance does. she gave me this tee”
“hahaha..!! u serious…??? well…btw…discovery is not my fav channel either…”
WTF…!!!
“…u see…its our job…we have to do it…”
1. 2-seater, open from almost all sides
2. Most efficient model ever produced, in terms of fuel economy
3. All-terrain vehicle
How do these guys keep producing such gems…one after the other…! In Awe of BMW
Courtesy: Failblog
This is the craziest thing i have seen in a long long time….! ofcourse…the craziest thing i have heard lately is the SRK ‘detention’…! Think about it…what if the guard’s name was Keith Johnson…and he just…in all good intentions…went…”oh my f***ing god…is that you…Shahrookh khaaan”…! f*** me…! wassup dude…i am KJo…!”…
Maybe SRK went into the detention himself…! eh eh eh…???
Enjoy the video…!
i dont want to comment on which country this looks like…but heck…has this ever happened in India…? I wont be surprised…we are a young country…we are all still learning how to use escalators…!
This is simply amazing….whats even more amazing is how expressionless these friggin passengers were all through the annoucement…but then they finally clapped towards the end…!
southwest simply rocks when it comes to such things…! :)
there is no…and i mean NO better use of one’s time then to read the comments below every rediff article…! they not only stamp my blindfolded belief that we Indians have the most time in this world to simply do nothing….it also helps one to capture the utter stupidity of a certain section of the society…
In a recent article on “College girls in Kanpur react against jeans ban” (which btw was another reflection of the f***ed up mental state of some of us…i meant the ban..not the reaction), here is a sample of a comment by a dude who calls himself saneindian!
| Following Bans should be enforced 1) Ban women from wearing Jewelry as it might attract theives. 2) Ban women from wearing saree as it can reveal some parts of the body which are not visible through salwar kameez 3)Ban women from wearing make up. Unwanted attention again. 4) Ban women from driving bikes. 5) Ban women from going out with strangers 6) Ban women from venturing out after 9PM. This will ensure that women will be safe and secure. *PS – Implement above and Taliban will be proud of India and their backward baboon mentaility. |
I love points 2 and 3 above..! I wonder what his mum and wife have to say to this…but imagine a scene in the evening, right before saneindian and his wife are to leave for his best friend’s wedding party…
saneindian: babes…did i tell you i got this really cool tatoo this morning, after bunking work…! have a look
saneindian wife: oh wow…show show…ummm…what is it…i cant figure out…
saneindian: u bloody dumbass woman…you are looking at it the other way round…here…let me show you the right way…huh…huh…huh??? like it no…??
saneindian wife: omg…what are these?
saneindian: samantha fox’s tits! but you wont even know who samantha fox is…forget it…!
saneindian wife: chee chee chee…yeh sab aapko shobha thodi deta hain…
saneindian: yah whatever…! ok..lets leave, we are getting late. have you ironed my shirt?
saneindian wife: yah…given it for ironing..and guess what…i am wearing that sexy white saree…
saneindia: WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT????? F***ING HELLL…YOU BLOODY WEARING A SAREE…who do you think you are…samantha fox…????????
whats even better than this fantabulous comment is the one right after…this time by Nikhil Arora who is clearly not best friends with saneindian…
| Little is better I fully suggest that the dress code for girls should be minis and tank tops. Smaller is better… As we are aping West in every frontier… why not in dress codes? So just like the music videos it would be like Riverdale… girls coming in the miniest skirts and shortest shorts and the smallest tops… Girls would really appreciate my idea… Hopefully most modern Indian guys would just swallow my idea.. for the beautiful eye-concotion… Wont it be fun?? |
you bet it will be fun…even more fun when saneindian comes around to your place and beats the shit out of you while 213 onlookers gather and enjoy the show…
rediff rocks…!
TechCrunch had an interesting article today on the most common facebook names.
Now, its a given fact that facebook is not the most promiment social networks in India…because unlike orkut…stricking a conversation with random people is much harder than simply going to orkut and suggesting…”hi sweetie…i want to make friendships with you…do you me???”! And india is all about randomness…its unbelievable how much time people have here…! I can bet my iphone on the fact that the best business in this country is to supply popcorn and pepsi to onlookers after an accident has taken place…or better still…if some equally random people are having a fight on the streets…
anyways…so back to the most common facebook names. FB is big in the US…so naturally you would expect the johns and johhnys and michaels to rule this list. So I couldnt see any Indian name in the 100 most common first names on facebook
the last name list though was interesting…! My fellow indians…hold your breath…cause this list did have Indian last names..! not one…but several…! HOWEVER, the one topping list is….tara rum pum…lalalala….SINGH. Ranked 21. All these bloody gadhe log that have survived on sardar jokes through their childhood…(and khushwant singh…who still continues to at the age of 153)…go take a leak. Cause if the singhs can friggin understand facebook…spread the word around…and get other singhs to join…and not just that but become the top ranked indian last name on facebook…then dude…they are not the same sardars on which the jokes were made…!!
i would have expected the sharmas/kumars/patels/jains…but they are ranked much lower…!
the most common full names list was dissapointing though…! will the real rohit sharma please stand up…! or amit gupta? or ashok kumar? make your presence felt…dont waste time making friendships…orkut is over…!!
i will be really interested to see corresponding results for orkut…especially for females. well…neha is definitely up there…but rani might be stiff competition…and hey…pooja…?
Since writing on the walls is done neither for critical acclaim, nor financial rewards…it remains the purest form of art
discuss
