In Dubai for a week….the place hasnt changed much…but the feeling is so great…! I personally didnt think that I get attached to places…(it is people alone, used to be my explanation)…but I guess things are not so….
Great to be back…
PS: I know I was supposed to write 10 posts in the last month…and yeah…i hvnt written any. But lots to share…coming up right away…
Mornings with Sundays continues…we went to the Lotus Temple on Jan 27. Have been there multiple times before…and though it doesnt really offer a whole lot of photography opportunities…it was still a pretty good spend of time…
Also, clicked some really impromtu snaps of Pihu and Sarthak – Ruchi’s Neice and Nephew…they have come out decently well…do let me know how you find them…!
Check out www.picasaweb.google.com/warikoo
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life hasnt been life of late…the project is killing…late hours…lack of sleep…i think my hair is graying faster than before…am not putting on weight as easily…have started to dislike paneer tikka…even pineapple has lost its charm…
anyways…the module is coming to an end…so lets see what shapes up after that…
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Planning on the TV Campaign for SecondShaadi from Feb 15th..so really looking forward to that…its quite exciting to see your product come live on TV…! We are also working towards our new product scheduled for a beta launch in April. Quite a challenging exercise…keeping our minds decently busy all along…!
Baaki sab mast hain…life is good…
~a
http://rankings.ft.com/global-mba-rankings
..am 1/4th of the average salary quoted there..
such joy..!!
~a
PS: Work is crazyyyyyy…this has been by far the deadliest project at ATK. in every which way…! am just praying for a calm end…
I have to thank SL for the song…its truly the best gift she could have given me…
at 12.49am…after you have been up for 20 hrs…and have gone without food for 8 hrs…the power of music is such that it forces you to write…to express…to feel…
i never knew i would say this so soon…but i hate consulting when it comes to staying away from home…it just doesnt feel worth it….but i know that something will make me wake up tomorrow…all charged up…willing to conduct interviews with CEOs and then eye excel sheets till the sun drops dead…
such is life…
btw…i have decided to start a series by the name of “Mornings with Sunday”. Wherein R and I will head out for a location…wherever we are…every other Sunday, for a photo expedition and a general ‘get to know the place’ kind of trip.
We started last sunday with Surajkund, Haryana. Will share the snaps and the experience soon…once am home.
life’s good…kuch is tara…
~a
…its no more ‘changing the face of media and entertainment’
…its no more leaving office at 7pm
…its no more sleeping at 12 noon…after 2 hrs of browsing
…its no more waking up excited at the prospects of meeting ’someone’ today
…its about oil and gas now…
…its pipelines…
…its tiring…tiring…
…its 0313 hrs…
…its about checking into the hotel right now and checking out at 0800 hrs…
…its still abt waking up excited at the thought of the marriage vacation starting next week…
JOY…!
~a
life as a consultant always gears you up for an alternative career as a hotel and airline critic….! and yeah…ofcourse…rental car service critic too..! which reminds me…why do all the cabs…even the ones running in the evening, carry yesterday’s newspaper..! and why do i still read them..?
anyways…so yeah…hotel and airline critic. hotels are for later…but recently i realized that i have flown all the airlines in the indian skies…! so here…
Indian
I strongly protest the name firstly…! given how they perform…all that we will hear is…Indian food sucks…Indian is never on time…Indian women are old…and rude…and well…at times you need time to figure out that they are women…!
that said…who am i to complain of the name. but for hevens sake..if i buy a ticket…plz…plz…dont jst give me a craft to fly in..and a seat to sit on..! give me some respect as well…!
“Ummm…could I have today’s financial express?”
“we dont carry all the newspaper in this country”
“some water please?”
“can i first finish giving everyone their food…”
“please dont disturb me for the meals. i am full and would like to sleep”
“sir…sir…sir…(shaking me left and right…GET UP YOU BUGGER)…ma’am..he is not getting up…sir…sir…ah yes…sir…would you like veg or non-veg…?”
please…please…dont fly those…! please….
Jet
Has got to have the best frequent flier program..! fantastic upgrades….and beautiful service..! ofcourse…sexy flight timings…and great confort. so my personal first choice…
but then….they overdo it…
“sir…veg or non-veg”
“no i am fine…wont have anything”
“are you sure sir?”
“yes…pretty much…thank you…”
“can i get you some fruits”
“no please…thanks”
“sure sir..?”
“(mataji…maine kal chacha ke chole bhature khaye the….aur mujhe dast lag gayi hain. agar maine kuch khaaya…to yahaan nadiyaan beh jayenge…and u know of what…so plz…can i not have anything…) Yes…thanks again”
Air Deccan
i hereby declare the eighth wonder of the world. Air Deccan landing each time it takes off…! with the state of their crafts and the way the pilots run those machines…its sheer miracle at play. maybe we should call gopinath a saint..!
I remember…while at ISB…AD was my fav airline. one cause that was the only one i could afford from hyd to delhi for my home trips…and two cause i handt flown anything else except jet. and that was at a time when the del-mumbai return ticket used to cost in numbers as bappi lahiri has gold in kgs..! basically shit loads…! until AD arrived and changed everything…
but then it jst lost it mid-way. if you arrive at any airport…the only passenger counter with the max passengers…and the max chaos will be it.
and recently…i read this as an Advertisement for AD.
“We have 99% OTP (on time performance)”
the fine print….which was in a font size smaller than all roles of rakhi sawant in bollywood put together…said…OTP measures if a flight has arrived/departed within an hour of its scheduled arrival/departure time..!
holy friggin shit…! this means that 1% of all AD flights actually land an hr after scheduled time..!! and they fly some 350 flights a day….so 4 flights daily with this statistic…!! horrible…!
Spicejet
a late entrant in the no-frills space…but has done itself a lot of good..! decent airlines with great potential. have only flown it once…so cant really comment…
Indigo
This has got to take the cake. an absolute delight to fly this. one thing smart that they do is to allow buffer time on their stated arrival time. so even though its factually incorrect…psychologically it works wonder. so all the times that i have flown Indigo….they have always landed much before their scheduled time..!
plush aircrafts…extremely friendly staff…brilliant comfort. right from the bus that takes you to the craft from the terminal…to the leg space and the seats itself.
funny is how these no-frills airlines dont expect business travellers at all. i boarded an indigo…to go to ISB last week…and was in my business suit. firstly…people couldnt stop getting amazed and amused at my attire…so much so that i checked myself if i still had my pants on….
i board the craft…and out of habit give my jacket to the airhostess. she politely…and quite regretfully informs that they dont have a provision to keep jackets…! nor did they have any business newspaper on board…! but i can live with these….
Kingfisher
always…and i mean…always…ask for the aisle seat. and if you have flown kingfisher…you know why…! great service…horrible food…and no concept of cost cutting. i appreciate them handing that passenger kit..but frankly…why waste that bit. has any customer research been undertaken to see what all frm that kit is actually carried out by the passenger…? i see the pen used a lot…but thats abt it..!
i hv written abt the airlines previously as well…so will attach an excerpt…
and then…we hv to give to mr mallaya. i mean…u get balls of steel to get yana gupta to speak hindi…let alone show how to unbuckle a seatbelt. the words tht she used were last used in 2000 BC…when the aryans were taking their first bullock cart ride…! i mean…who in gods name…uses “sunishchit…!!!” nowadays. i am sure in some part of the plane…a lady wud hv gone….”there…thats the name of my 1st kid…!!!” and the funniest part was blowing the lifejacket. it looked like a lipstick ad…! guys who travel kingfisher…watch out for this…! funny…
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recently have bid adieu to a lot of close folks at ATK. all of which have left for fantastic opportunities. Shintu left for his MBA…and why wouldnt he be happy…his school tops the FORBES list this year for the best RoI…! friggin shit..! a school has to have balls to have the best RoI on USD 120K..!! all the best dude…will surely miss u….
and then rintu…(for those who dont know…rintu…shintu are not brothers…but could have easily been so..! nor are these their real names….shintu is basically shambunath…and rintu is known as rinkle khanna…ok…kiddin..!)…left as well…in some ways back to where he belonged. it hurt…cause not only is he a true gem..he was also quite close…!
then today was the last day of one of my fav people at ATK. AC surprisingly isnt a consultant…but an executive assistant. so limited to our interactions…i struck a great chord with her. you know…its days such as these that one realizes how imp the admin people are in an org…!
you enter office and you have VJ…the face of ATK…with a smile…! and then the security guards…with that goodmorning sir…and again..a smile…and then you pass RM…who ofcourse is perpetually married to her life patner. who comes in white color and measures 2 inches…and NO…i am not talking about that..!! so anyways…RM is always all so lost to see me…but then an occasional…katrina kaif smile comes by…and then comes AC. always cheerful…always smiling…! and always ready to offer a helping hand.
and this makes me feel…is this a phenomenon that beats the law of averages. how can everyone in the firm be likeable..and be just at the right wavelength for you. how can everyone be so approachable…and so dependable…! but so be it…who is out there to disprove this….
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came back this sunday from a fantastic trip to srinagar. loads of pics to share….will do so by the next post…
till then…keep the faith…
life’s good…
~a
since the day i was born…i have been observing people. i noticed the mole on the doctor who gave birth to me and the fact that her stethoscope’s left earpiece was bigger than the right one..! but then thats not observing people…so nevermind…
i find it as a good pastime…! even mre so when i see some dudes doing stuff that i just dont get…
for instance…picture this…
4 elevators in my office building..! 9am…5 people waiting on the lowest floor to go up…! a gentleman arrives from behind…makes his way through the 5-body crowd…and presses the up button…AGAIN…and AGAIN…!!
wtf was he thinking..! that the 5 of us are long lost buddies who are staring at the elevator walls trying to remember the day we played football in the rain…? or we are just zombies who have been working so hard that we stand infront of elevators wishing and praying that it comes down…u never know…u seee..!!
bugger…!!
and picture this….
mumbai airport…the new delhi flight is ready…all lining up to the bus that shall carry them to the machine of tight haristyled women and emotionally poisoned food…! and there you see Aamir Khan…! note that he is not trying to hide him….so if one has been born in the last year…there is no way that you cant recognize him…
a gentleman…mid 40s…comes up to him…and goes…
“are you aamir khan?”
no sherlock…i am bappi lahiri and i have been gyming for the past 6 months. but the friggin gym was so expensive…(bipasha basu also comes there u see)…that i had to sell off all my gold and thus u see me now in a body tight tee…and jeans…and no gold..
this is worse than the pre-historic habit that has engulfed motherkind…of asking…“tum aa gaye” when she saw er son come back from work…
people…i tell u….
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work has been crazy lately….but awesome fun. helping shape the future of media and entertainment in india…and its somehow orgasmic to sit back and think that the room you just stepped out of…after your discussion with the CEO…was witness to something that will change the entire landscape forever…
and u urself will get to witness it…
bliss…
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lately i have been itching myself with a lot of b-plans. dont know when and how to take the plunge…cause at some level you know that inaction right now can be suicidal…someone else will surely pick up your idea…and there….gone….
any people who wanna fund me…?
~a
I submit….this is the best consulting firm ever…
www.huhcorp.com
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Livemint.com covered SecondShaadi.com yesterday. Nicely done.
http://www.livemint.com/2007/07/04154115/Paradise-Regained-Tying-the-k.html
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~a
8.30am
Friday
Mumbai Airport
tringgg tringgg…
hello
haanji sir…u hv reached
yes yes…where r u…?
at the exit itself…should i go and fetch the car…?
yah yah..plz do…where should i wait…
i will come where the laal peeli start
(figuring out where that is)…alright…i will wait…
After 10 mins
where are you boss…?
sir…right there…can you see the 2 media vans…right behind that…
boss…there are no media vans that i can see…where are you…?
sir…just where the passengers get out…am on the road…directly opposite…
i dont see you dude…ok…am standing right infront of the premium parking
ok..i have gone ahead of that…will come back after taking a round…
another 10 mins…
boss…its been 20 mins…where the f r u…?
sir…right there…premium parking…
yaar…either i am blind…or you dont know the airport well…are you at the jet arrival terminal
sir..i have been coming to the airport for the past 15 yrs…
you are at the domestic airport…rite…?
haan sir…are you at the right airport…
boss…mumbai mein ek hi airport hain…
MUMBAI…???? sir…i am in delhi…!!!!
WTF…!!!!
so…this friday morning…i spent 30 mins of my life trying to convince someone in delhi…that he is in mumbai…!
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but i give it to mumbai..! cant repeat it enough..but this was my first rendezvous with prime traffic in mumbai. it took me a mind numbing 2.25 hrs to reach the airport frm nariman point. a whole 2 hrs…! in the cab..! hands numb…mind zonked…life paralyzed..! i shudder to think the potential loss in national income that happens in the city cause of simply being on the road driving…when you could easily be working and far more productive than listening to radio mirchi and “pal pal pal frm munnabhai” for the godforsaken 586976th time..!
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VP and I finally launched our site. We have been working on the plan for the past 2 odd months…! its completely VP’s baby and I am simply an external advisor devoting time towards the strategy of the product over and above my fulltime ATK committments. Its been a fantastic ride so far…and atleast for me last thursday, when the product was launched, was a special moment.
for VP though…having handled the complexity of www.desimartini.com already, this was jst another site..!
our business plan…a matrimonial site specifically targetted at remarriage.
www.secondshaadi.com
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my routine browsing this afternoon took me to this show called ‘Britain’s got talent’…and a certain Paul Potts. at the end of his performance…i was sobbing like a 5 yr old…jst couldnt contain myself. i hv figured that singing has a spiritual connectiong with me. ever since i went to the US…music has become my meditation. unfortunately…my voice can allow me to appreciate it vocally…but i remember when i spent simple hrs…jst listening to music with tears in my eyes…!
this was yet another instance…and totally deserved…(in my limited capacity)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDB9zwlXrB8
Life’s really good right now…
~a
no seriously…where did it jst go.
shit loads has happened in the last month…and each time i reached out the the laptop to blog about it…darn…forget it…how am i kiddin… i jst didnt feel like writing…thts it….! :)
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Media and Entertainment totally sucked me in last month…work was awesome…and painful…long hrs…no social life…weekends jst went by trying to think of how i cud hv used them better….and weekdays jst didnt exist. as my Gtalk status once said…”its like pregnancy…lots of pain but you like what comes out in the end” (courtesy PM)
but tht was then. things changed last week….when we met the client…and he was like…superb…sold…very well done…why dont u start working on the vision now. think of something that has never been done before…
and we were like…WTF
now dont get me wrong…these vision-mission stuff are good…companies hv survived on them…and am sure bal thackeray had one too when he ordered his warriors to storm cafes in protest of orkut…! but after 6 weeks of high rigor…and market interviews and business modelling and what have yous…when one asks you to start thinking of vision…it sucks…
or in other words…the phase of ‘intellectual masturbation’…begins…
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was reading a newspaper article on the environment day. if the screw up that we humans indulge in isnt enough…the paper had conducted a survey…with some startling results…
witness this…
Q. A shower for 5 mins consumes more water than a bucket of water
a certain section of society (naming them cud hv a bal thackeray lookalike run after me…and i am too young to die!) had 55% replying yes. which is good…! however…45% said no…! whattttttt?????? half the population in that particular area thinks that a bucket of water and a 5 min shower are equal..?????
i really hope that their showers are the ancient ones…u know th sorts wherein some shit dirt particle has blocked all but one pore in the shower..!
there is more…
Q. Brushing your teeth with running water consumes less than a litre of water
55% yes…45% no…and you know what. THE SAME FRIGGIN SECTION…!! what retards live in this world that believe this shit…and screw not jst their life but the rest of the world’s too….and then if the government says that we are raisin water bills…go on a violent bandh….kill some people…and continue to bloody brush under running water..
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but then the government is not the best either…
a hate community on orkut gives some bastardos the right to barge into cafes and destroy private property. and if that wasnt enough…the government sets up a committee to decide whether orkut should be banned or not..
why dont we do something simple. create a separate world for them. i know of some reclamation experts…who can easily recreate land on water. there is lots of space in the arabian ocean. lets jst build a sweet sexy world…where guys and girls are never together…15th feb comes right after the 13th…there is no internet and thus no hat communities…and oh…a news channel that always talks of the indian cricket team winning…so as to keep them under control. now that would work..
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and hey you guys…tell me something…whenever you apply for a competitie examination…do you call yourself ‘general’ category…? how are you sure..? can you show me a certificate proving that you are general…! if not…i suggest that you pick up the nearest kerosene tank…and burn your neighbour’s cycle. control dude control…the bus will be next…but jst practise before…!
everyone is fighting for a community status dude…i think we should too..!
what…what…national damage…? social inconvenience..? death…? dude…what are you…a moron..??? jst call some news chanels later and ask for an apology. over..!
and hey…if any news channels attempt to cover your violence…dont feel ashamed..! smile right in the face of the camera…
there…now u deserve the general status…jai hind..!
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strange thing happened today…was on my way back home talking merrily on the phone…when the traffic cop stopped me. now…i admit…my car is a traffic cop’s dream come true. i always talk on the phone…(its a long story why i dont use a handsfree…but hey…am still a nice guy!)…hv dark tints…and play decently loud music.
and plus…i am an honest tax-paying citizen
so this guys stops me…and starts off…2K for cellphone…2K for tints and 1K for pollution certificate. am keeping ur RC…plz come and pay this at the traffic center within 15 days….
whooaaa….hold on mate…! so first…show me the fine sheet…tht states the amt…
he didnt hv tht…
ok…fine…i will trust u on the amt…and am ready to pay it right now. give me the receipt for tht and let go off my RC
no sir…cant do…u hv to pay at the center. we dont accept challans here. this is not haryana law. i will hv to keep ur RC.
give me the number of ur ACP traffic..will ask him abt this law.
dont hv…cant share…
show me ur ID card
haryana govt stopped issuing them in aug 2006…
which means that i too can wear the same shirt / trouser as urs and start collecting moolah…
what do u mean moolah…u think we are here to take a bribes something…
oh u r not…great…so either u take the entire challan right now and give me the receipt..or u jst get the big shit out of my car…
i wont…
fine…let me take you to the traffic headquarters there…we will discuss the matters there…
ok ok..leaving…but get these tints off in 2 days…
Conclusion:
1. Most of these guys…i was later told by a frnd…do not position themselves on the location they ought to be. which is why they dont have those challans books with them. So always ask for their ID…always ask for the challan…and plz use bribe as the last resort…not the preferred one..
2. I did commit a mistake…and i ought to have paid. but i didnt…! and i cudnt care less…because of the way he conducted himself…! dont if i am wrong here…comments invited…
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went to naukuchiatal for the weekend…fantastic lake place 25 kms frm Nainital in North India. stayed in an awesome private cottage…and had a much needed break.
here are some snaps…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/warikoo/sets/72157600321509929/
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will be back soon…surely within a month…
~a
i remember this intense conversation PM and i were once having. actually all our conversations are typically intense…which start with me asking him what he does for a living…he cursing me to no end..then trying to explain…and then end with me asking him to marry me..!
so…abt this one conversation…he told me tht i sucked as a blogger. ofcourse this was his personal opinion and am sure that the 2 regular readers of this blog would defend me to no end..! he felt that my blog was inward looking….you know…the sorts which are like…”yeh hai meri kahaani”….i got up…and work is happening…and did i tell you of when i was 6…and then i fell in love…and oh i am getting married…etc etc…
he preferred the outward looking ones…the sorts tht spoke of world issues. ofcourse humor was almost sacsocant…and thus to be used in an honorable manner….i cudnt really understand what he meant when he spoke of humor and honor in the same breath. oh btw…what do u call a sardar who lives underwater…!! Jal-andar singh…!! HAH…! wait wait…there’s more…what do you call a sardar who lives and breathes under water…! Jal-andar singh GILL…!! wasssuppppp…!!
yah so…i really dont know what he meant when he spoke of humor to be used in the ‘right’ fashion..
i agree with him though…abt the inward bit…i do…! which is when i told myself….alrite dude…lets not jst look at the world…(which i do almost to the point of being anal!)…lets hv an opinion abt it too…and let the world know of the opinion. ofcourse to make it humorous…i turned to anecdotal posts…! stories…of my mundane life…experienced by me…but never talking abt me…rather the experience..! it cud hv been anyone…
i admit..at times i had to think really hard to come up with these….which made me doubt the sheer intention of it. was to please someone…or to express myself. i didnt really know the answer…but loved doing it nevertheless…cause it was a form of expression nevertheless….!
and jst when i was on a roll…friggin work came in between. as of this precise moment…i am an i-banker when it comes to hours…and a consultant…when it comes to pay..! and a complete bastardo when it comes to blogging…
that my friends…was my brief explanation for the increasingly increasing duration between subsequent posts..! thank you…
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just came back frm spiderman 3. its awesome. i mean…if the goblin wasnt enough…we had new goblin…who basically confused in life….is a loser as it is…and if tht wasnt enough the director decided to give him memory loss.
and then a superduper sand man…who basically cud be destroyed by water….yet somehow managed to cry…and am sure he did pee at times as well..!! imagine what you mst go thru when u know tht each time u pee…u r getting an inch closer to death. and god only help u if u had tht ugly burger on the beach tht evening…and went down with some loose motions the next morning.
so anyways…yeah…there was the sandman…! and then some freaky dude…who am sure was supposed to be an extra in the movie to begin with. but the director made the mistake of capturing him too many times in the 1st half….! he took advantage of tht and held the team to ransom…”give me a better role else i will not act in the 2nd half”. ofcourse the character cudnt be jst killed (which btw wud hv made the movie a trifle easier on the head)…and he was afterall jst a crappy actor…so they made him a freaky villian. a monstor actually…! who cud be destroyed by the sound of church bells. ladies and gentlemen..the ramsey brothers have finally got their worth. finally a demon tht is scared of god-stuff…such as the om pendant..or the cross pendant…or the trishul…or simply the hanuman chalisa..!!
but the real villian was spriderman himself. he becomes greedy in the movie…u know…lalchi sorts..! suddenly loves all the admiration…so starts making guest appearances at road shows…! jst like priyanka gandhi…oops…vadra…!! (forgiveness my lord…oops lady)
its 2.45 hrs long….exactly a minute after death happens…to the audience…!
its a crappy movie…plz dont go..!! esp if u like spiderman…plz dont..!
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am currently working in the media and entertainment sector…and its a friggin awesome place to be in. the industry is mindblowing…to say the least. there is so much of stuff happening…tht one cant even see on the surface…! fragmented to the core…unorganized to say the least…and has so much of potential. some awesome trivia…
> India has 13,000 movie screens. PVR…the largest integreted player…owns 70.
> Home Video and TV accounts for 75% of a movie revenue in the US. 7 friggin 5 %…!! no one there watches films in the theaters..! come to think of it…i went for a film show only once in 2 yrs..when i was there…! and i guess the only ones who go are desis..!
> The entire global movie industry is USD 92 bn. Walmart revenues last yr were 349 bn..!
> You know who owns ESPN. Walt disney..!!!
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life will take me to mumbai next….! jet airways…here i come…!! spidermannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
~a
the good part about not bloggin for a while…is that you get a feel of your fan following…!
…1 girl reminded me that i used to blog…
…my viewership has dropped 50%…
…i received 37 (yes…thats friggin THIRTY SEVEN…) anonymous comments…in a single day…and some 150 in the past month…”great site you have here…btw check some lesbians babes…and hey…while you are at it…hv u heard of viagra and turkey as a tourist destination…??”
i am actively considering selling my blog to google…!
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so my client was narrating his india trip the other day. went to mumbai for some business meetings and the first day was pretty tight with multiple appointments. the flight arrives at 8.30am and its only an hr to the first meeting. so DB tells the driver…”boss…drive as fast as you can…its crucial for him to reach in the next 45 mins…”
now you know how indian drivers are….either they drive at 40 and not an inch more….or if told otherwise…they forget that cars are made of materials that can crush humans….! see…here is my point….dhanno from sholay was the only friggin horse in that scene. so wouldnt have bumped into another…and crashed….and lost a leg…and her tail for life..! but mumbai….DUDE…! you drive at 60 only if you are on top of another driving at that speed..!
anyways…so this driver pays ample attention to the instructions…and makes his way through the traffic…! lo behold…he does manage to reach in time…
client is happy…impressed..! he calls DB and goes…”this guy was fantastic….! he took me through all these shortcuts and small roads…and heck..there was traffic…but hey…he managed perfectly..”
DB is clueless…”shortcuts…?? small roads..??” he talks to the driver…khuspus khuspus…and then comes back to client….
“ummm…well…those are the mumbai main roads…!!”
i rest my case…! arguments plz..???
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Dubai is inshallah coming to an end….! been a terrific time…! jst finished with a great piece of work…and its amazing how much one learns about an industry one was clueless about…jst 8 weeks back..!
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clicked this on the Delhi Metro sometime back. Really neat way of reminding the consumer who you are…
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890417/
another click…though unrelated…
http://flickr.com/photos/warikoo/419890368/
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life’s good…in all dimensions..!
~a
scheduled for 11am…we reached at 10.40 itself..! i would want to believe that whats i always do…if it wasnt for the cute secretary. its the smile that kills…always the friggin smile….
and then…when the dude has worked for some 18 odd years…why do they develop such a high respect for time. i mean..if the meeting is scheduled for 11…and 2 young consultants are having a happy chat with your secretary..why the hell do u have to come out of your cabin at sharp 11..!!
anyways…so whatever…! 18 yrs of experience…senior guy…! we got his time after multiple visits to the office…and it was only 30 mins. had the make the most of it.
so we start….and he is answering. the setting is quite corporat-ish..! you know…the table that can contain half the earth on it…and there is one old dude on its north. and 2 black-suited morons at its south. if both of us were to lie down and i were to hold on to his feet…we wud still need another body to reach the gentleman.
and whats with these chairs??? who do we hv to sink…and take ‘comfortable chairs’ to an all new level. not to mention tht the arm rest will rise up to half your thigh…! so u friggin need a forearm of shaq ‘o neil’s height..!
10 minutes into the interview…! the answers r stunning….i mean…experience oozing out..!! fantastic perspective.
beep…
its his phone…
he starts off infront of us itself. goes on and on..in some god damn vernacular. i cant figure shit…so am jst thinking of what next to ask. the interview seems too high a priority to spend time concentrating on something tht wud take an eternity for me to crack..!
“sorry gentleman..had to take this call..! please…lets continue”
the next 15 minutes flow smooth. good questions…equally brilliant answers…!
“thank you Mr X for your time. We really appreciate this”
“oh no…not a problem at all. I hope I was of help…! some tea?”
“So where are you guys from..?”
“OH i am fromt Delhi. stayed all my life there.”
“and you…?”
“I am from kerela..”
now…not that i want to…but i have never seen a person die of shock. i hv seen some bit of it in the movies..but thats all abt it. and i am told that the person freezes…! i mean…he jst becomes a statue.
yeah…on second thoughts…i did maybe see someone die of shock tht day…
“Kerela…??? So you can speak malayam…???”
“yes…i can…”
“OH I AM SO SORRY….I AM SO SO SORRY…I DIDNT MEAN IT…I REALLY AM. I JUST DIDNT MEAN IT…I AM…OH NO…GOD…SORRY…REALLY SORRY…”
“its ok…ok..not a problem at all..”
i am perplxed..!! what in friggin world i happenin. why is tht dude atleast 3 bodies away from us apologizing. and why is this super stud friend of mine acting as if he is jesus…out to forgive the world..! I have no friggin idea…i mean…NO IDEA….FRIGGIN..!!
we step out…and i am like….DUDE…WHAT JUST HAPPENED..??? WHY WAS HE ACTING LIKE THAT…
“remember the call…! he was speaking in malayalam. with someone frm home…i am guessing…”
“…and…???”
“…well….if i recollect correctly he said….these 2 f****** r wasting my time right now…moronic questions…thinking they r too smart..! I will make sure Srini doent grow up to become up…! friggin useless bunch of expensive furniture…”
___________________________________
ISB recruitments in full swing. had gone down this weekend…to a fanstastic time. took 5 super studs…great bunch of people. the tension on campus was scary…! all i could do was go back in history and laugh at my state back then. it all seems so miniscule…so irrelevant…now…
great learning…
~a
PS: OK…alright…this wasnt me…! A colleague..!! But heck…story writing is fun..! :)
..its the test of this desire…that’s what life is…
- Zaaveda Zindagi (Movie: Anwar)
i agree with that…! life..at all times…at each point..is simply a test. a test of how strongly you desire something…how much are you willing to work towards it…a test…each and every point.
so…i sat down the other day…with the music on…! ofcourse..people who can see my gtalk know that nowadays i am on an overdose of urdu stuff. gone back to jagjit singh sorts. and then came atif aslam. friggin amazing stuff. fanstastic lyrics…most of them…and his energy is jst killin. i mean…he is so good…tht at times i wish i cud be this teenybopper…at his concert…shouting at the top of my lungs…atifffffffffff…almost tearing my top off..!!
anyways…
so i sat down the other day…!! and omg…HAVE YOU HEARD ATIF ASLAM…HE IS LIKE…OMGGGGG…
yeah…the othe day…! i was wondering..what are the things that i would work for..! what would life be testing me on…each and every point.
this was my list…
Photography
life…everyday…asks me this…
“u friggin ass..! at a time when you were earning $525 a month…u bought yourself a $750 camera..! you used to cook your own food everyday…because paneer outside used to cost more than milk and vinegar…(ofcourse my time had no value then. notice how i used ‘then’ to lead you into believing that it does hv any value now..!!)..! so what the f did u with it..! clicked some snaps..! made a moron show at the ISB talent night..! and yeah…never got down to practising..! u friggin ass…!”
i know what i want to do. i want to become angus moon. for those who dont know him…he was the exchange student to isb from UCT GSB, last year (read here). and a professional photographer. not before he earned his living as a consultant. and according to him…he earned much more as a photographer than he did as a consultant (ofcourse with my friggin package i will have to click rajnikanth naked to make up for it…although i do know that clicking bappi lahiri naked might fetch me more!). now thats what i want to do. i just want to leave my job one day…and pick up my camera. and jst go clicking for a yr.
balls..! will never get that courage..! life’s a waste..!
Singing
yeah…thats true..! i hv always loved singing…although only 2 people hv heard me do so. only one survived. i do visit the other whenever i get the time..but the friggin asylum closes before my office ends.
i wanna learn singing. i want to sing the song i like…the way they shud be sung. and i want to believe that i did a good job. ofcourse i also know that anu malik thinks the same…so yeah…i also want the world to think i did a good job. which in turns means…i want to sing for an audience one day..!
let see if i pass this test…
Superman
my masi went to singapore right after her marriage. so when she finally came back to india after some 5 yrs…she was this genie…! with magical stuff…!! she had this thing called the VCR…! and this beauty of an invention named TV. and a certain video called Superman II.
each time i met her…which was like once a week or so…she used to make me watch it. without fail. till i reached the point wherein i visited her almost everyday…jst to watch it. the movie was my sholay..!! i knew each dialogue..(or atleast i thought..heck..i was in 3rd grade..and the movie was english!)…! ofcourse…growing up..it was easiest to blame masi for most of who i was..!!
hah..! i used to go to temples and pray to god…to make me superman. and i remember telling god…i promise i will use my pwers for the good..!! i am sure that used to be god’s stand up comedy hour…!! he wud invite jesus and mohammad…and indra (if he was free from his boogie-woogie dance performances) to view me…and would go…”listen to this friggin ass…wants to become superman..he is too funny..!!”
but i want to become one…whats wrong with that. really..! i get a kick when i do somethng for someone…wthout the person knowing its me. he jst knows its someone..! it cud be anyone..! and thats superman for me. u hv the power…but never the identity. you dont exist…and yet you do..in the most powerful manner possible..! and its an addiction for me..! the ‘overly involved’ me..!
ofcourse…they stopped making red underwear…and my blue pants are not the best fitting. but i can manage..!
so there…u hv Mr. blue pants…who can friggin sing….and flies arnd with this camera. yup…that’s me..!!
that’s who i wanna be…
issi shauk ka intihaam zindagi hain…!
~a
i hv given a lot of tests in life…won some…failed some…but what i remember most about them is not the result but the experience. i was on campus last weekend and in one of our conversations AS mentioned that he went to my blog in feb 2006…to see what it was like…
the campus wears pretty much the same look as it did last year. the vulnerability of each is clearly visible…people are at their emotional weakest…! mental strength is sought at each stage…and its a beauty of life how each one of us manages to find their source…in their own way..!
it was a learning experience…ofcourse where i am today also makes it a memorable one..but thats largely besides the point. i would have still emerged more ‘developed’ irrespective of the result…
i used to maintain a daily log of my activities at ISB….and i went back to it today. before i realized i had spent 2 hrs on it…remembering my life in tht part of SVII.
cudnt help but share the following:
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
8.15 – 8.30 – Daily Stuff
8.30 – 9.30 – Gym
9.30 – 10.30 – Newspaper
10.30 – 11.00 – Internet
11.00 – 1.30 – Studies – Stats
1.30 – 2.30 – Lunch
2.30 – 4.30 – Class
4.30 – 5.00 – Nothing Specific
5.00 – 7.00 – Class
7.00 – 7.30 – Nothing Specific
7.30 – 9.00 – Newspaper
9.00 – 9.30 – Dinner
9.30 – 10.00 – Telephone
10.00 – 10.30 – Lying down on the grass
10.30 – 12.30 – Studies
12.30 – 1.00 – Walk
Total for the day: 16.75 hours
Sunday, January 15, 2006
10.00 – 11.00 – Daily Stuff
11.00 – 1.00 – Resume
1.00 – 2.00 – Lunch
2.00 – 4.00 – Studies
4.00 – 5.00 – Nap
5.00 – 9.00 – studies
9.00 – 10.00 – Dinner
10.00 – 1.00 – Placement prep
1.00 – 2.00 – Nothing Specific
2.00 – 5.00 – Studies
Total for the day: 19.00 hours
life changes….but still remains beautiful…! right, SL…?
~a
at times i wonder what my mum will hv to say about my blogs…and the number of times i use the big O word…!! my guess is she will be shocked at the fact that i know about the word…let alone using it every second line…
anyways…
my current client had participated in this huge international exhibition by the name of cityscape. we particpated (and had quite an awesome stand…including the hostesses..!!)…and had roped in a photographer for the entire 3 days duration.
for the entire 3 days….i had a ball with him. went through a crash course…and loved the fact that there were shit loads of stuff that i wasnt even aware of…!! and tht gives me a kick…cause i know that i work on those and i will be better than what i am…!! ofcourse…it wud hv been tragic if i got to know that i know everything that there is to it….and still click the quality that i do….which wud mean tht i suck…!!!
after cityscape the engagement happened….(yes..if you havent read the dec edition of TIME…this will be news!)…and hey…am talking abt my engagement…yes…yes…me…!!!
it went well…everyone was happy…tht includes me…and the parents of all delhi girls…!
came back…and will be flyin to ISb this weekend for the reunion…(WUUUHUUUUUUUUU)…but…my latest learnt talent will be put to use…! so got myself some sexy professional rolls…and a new set of batteries…! had intentions of clicking at will when on campus…
things were to change when i loaded the film on the camera yesterday. i jst cudnt resist…and for the next 2 hrs jst played with my camera like never before..! its funny how a material thing can bring you so much pleasure. i mean…alright..a dildo wud fit in the same description..but this is a camera i am talking abt…!!
fascinating stuff….!
orgasmed again…
~a
PS:
1. project got an extension…will be in Dubai till feb end.
2. am going on a long leave starting 25th…all the way to 2nd jan
3. registered 40% returns in the market…in the past one week…
4. met with E after a long time…and it was amazing
5. did i mention…life’s good…?
So life has been pretty hectic for the past 10 days. Took a day off to attend a friend’s wedding which eventually turned out to be quite a hectic and an enjoyable experience. I can see why the director ever thought of coming up with a “hum aapke hain kaun”story line. Marriages are quite fun in their own way.
And then work has been quite involving…and orgamiscally exciting. I never knew I would enjoy marketing, the way I am right now. Am leading the marketing strategy implementation for our client…and its awesome. The thought behind brand development…interacting with agencies…and hearing them share their perspectives on how we should position ourselves. All of it is quite fascinating…and quite new…to me. Am loving it.
However, in this welcomed madness the last thing I wanted was a crappy movie. I guess god was traveling with ear plugs on when I was praying not to get me into that one bad show.
So last night I watched Dhoom 2
Now now…don’t get me wrong. Its slick. Definitely. Slicker than most bollywood stuff I have seen. But for god sake…I mean…gimme a break…what is it…? James Bond magnified?
Frankly I had expected more. The action scenes were just overdone…and OH MY GAWD…with logic taking a long ass leak while those were being shot. Friggin cop jumps off the cliff…when the thief has done so 3 seconds back as well. But hey…thief has parachute…cop just has biceps…! So lo behold…cop jumps…and no…he is not trying to land on the parachute…no no…that too feminine for such a shot…he jst tries to position himself so that he lands right on the back of the thief. And after some hot gay romance…they kiss…and live happily ever after…!!
and some things were like….wtf…!! what is the queen doing in the middle of the desert of namibia….and WITH THE CROWN…??? and entry of abhishekh…toooooo much. the dude emerges from underwater on a sea scooter…wearing leather jackets..!! wuuuhuuuuuuuuuu…!! i can understand why he would do something like this…!! cmon…with all the female fish hittin on him…he cudnt be at his worst…!!
i think he should simply start acting for a change…!! ummm…and shaving as well..!!
My biggest takeaway…hrithik should start wearing a bra..!!
My biggest observation…i think aish can wear the same bra…if u know what i mean…
and does everyone think that the kabul express trailers are quite awesome…????
~a
so…kerela was fun. i wasnt raped…and no guy touched me as well. no wait…i take tht back…i mean…i went for a massage on thr last day…
the entire team had left on sunday and we dubai sheikhs were left to ourselves…given the timing of our flight. so i pretty much slept through the day…didnt hv lunch…watched the finals…fought a fire back in office…and then decided to go for a massage…
the weirdest hour of my life…
ok…so i was ready to be almost naked…infront of a guy whom i hadnt met…ever..! big shit..i thought to myself. if gandhi could almost do it…infront of the entire world…heck..am just an overweight normal guy..! and then…the fact that the massage place would provide disposable underwear…did provide for some relief.
so i enter this room…and this dude…i will call him X…opens the almirah..and reaches out for a small cigar like thing. i guess its the underwear…and as he takes the wrapper off and asks me to wear it..while he waits outside…several thoughts cross my mind…till it hits me…
WAIT A MINUTEEEEE…!!! AT WHAT POINT OF TIME WERE YOU PLANNING TO TELL ME THAT DISPOSABLE UNDERWEAR MEANS TRANSPARENT UNDERWEAR…!!!????
it was at this precise moment…when i am in my original undies…holding the ‘disposable’ undies…tht i realize where it all came from…the phrase…”point of no return”
ok..so calm down…all’s good…believe in your sexuality…hold on…dont sweat…hold on…calm down…just close your eyes and imagine its some machine operating on you…!
the music is chosen…and the oil is heated. they start with the head and its quite a fascinating feeling when the 1st drop touches your scalp. i am a sucker for head massages…once gave a tip of 50 (on a rate list of 30) to a guy whom i cud hv married if he was a girl…simply cause of the head massage he gave me..!
the next 15 odd mins are soothing. the massage is flowing smoothly…the occasional ‘touching’ is conveniently ignored…and before i realize i am fast asleep.
“sir sir sir…r u ok sir…r u ok sir”…shaking me rigourously. i wake up with a jerk…open my eyes…and find X’s face in friggin nanometer smooching distance.
holy shit..!!
i mean dude….am i the first person to hv fallen asleep during a RELAXATION massage…???? cmon for god sake…
for any current or to-be masseur…here is a healthy tip…
imagine a sage…seeking nirvana. and some dude has told him…tapasya for 22 yrs…and u shall hv it. so he begins…and the present time is 21 yrs…11 months…23 hrs…and 45 mins. i mean…friggin 15 min away frm nirvana. now what X did was equivalent to shaking the sage out of his meditation and asking him the directions to the river where the local beautiies bathe..!!
DONT EVER DO IT..!! someone’s gonna get hurt real bad…!
it was never the same after tht. the massage ended and i didnt quite enjoy it the way i expected myself to…but heck..atleast i got one in kerela..!!
life’s ‘gay’..!!
~a
PS: as a sidenote…AD kicked ass today at the DB interview. and i expected him to. it was an awesome feeling when he told me abt it…though i cudnt resist going back in time…exactly a yr back. to this day…i dont know what to make out of that day…but i do remember telling PG this…a week after my interviews…”zindagi mein kuch bhi…kabhi itni aasaani se nahi mila”….! and yeah…sach mein nahi mila!
proud of u AD…jst hang in there now…! its ur day today…!
so…SA…or AS…if you are readin this…pardon me…cause i really didnt have anything else to write…
its been 12 months for the ATK team here at Dubai…and we realized that its been quite a learning experience. a new country shall always come with its share of typicalities…and adjusting to those can be quite a task.
here is our version of the
Dubai Survival Kit
life’s good…
~a
my feet were literally shivering as i walked towards A-01. i cudnt even dare to see who lives there now…but there was this sudden rush that i experienced…when i sat on the very same stairs infront of the b-blk…
it was suddenly 6 months back…and it was the same time..the same place…the same me…and yet it somehow didnt belong to me..!! but it still was an awesome feeling…
spent 2 days at ISB…officially down for the Kearney recruitment talk…and had a BLAST! the sheer feeling of being back was too overwhelming. more so for SB who just cudnt stop feeling senti. the first night..he drank a bit and then we walked around the campus for some 45 minutes…in the rain…while he narrated stories from the 1st batch. and we were lucky enough to catch a dunking…post which he jst said..”now i can die in peace..!!”
the 1st evening was well received. the turnout was decent…but the enthu was contagious. somehow this batch hasnt failed to impress me with that.
its beautiful…how this single place…holds so much of fascination for me. the sheer thought of being there again makes me wanna do it right away…
ofcourse…on the flip side…i cudnt spend as much time with some people…as i wud hv liked to. so sorry AD, SS, SL…very soon..!!
54 hrs…6 hrs of sleep…
never felt so fresh before…
…awesome feeling…
~a
